RemyAndSam.com

Women play many roles in their lives, they are someone’s daughter, sister, neice, aunt, wife and mum. The last has been fairly new to me, I’ve spent the least amount of time being it, only 3 years in fact. So it’s a role that I should be least good at and the excuse I should use is that I’m still new at it. But really, I’ve been on the job for three years now and it still hasn’t hit me how life changing being a mum has been. It suddenly dawned on me this week how deeply I have jumped into the mum bandwagon when I was excited with the sunny weather just so that I can do the laundry and hang it outside.  Here is how I know I am a mum:

- When I feel relieved that that my son has done a poo for the day

- When I get more excited on my son’s birthday than my own

- Toys sales gets me more excited than sales at my favourite stores like Mimco, Midas and Jigsaw.

- When I trick myself into thinking that the mash potatos or chips my son eats is a serving of vegies

- When I can’t remember the last time I read a book that had more words than pictures

- When I stop everything that I am doing and run to the window in excitement pointing to my son that there’s a rubbish truck on the road

- When going to the toilet alone gets me excited

- When I go out smelling like breastmilk, on my milk stained top and not realise it until it’s too late

- When I know the words to more nursery rhymes than the latest top 10 songs on the music charts

- When i find my fingers picking not just my nose, but that of my sons

- When saying, ‘Say Thank You’  and ‘Say Please’ is automatic

- When makeup and lipgloss in my handbag got replaced with emergency biscuits and Matchbox cars.

- When I kiss my son and give him cuddles when he’s got the flu, coughing and sneezing on me even though I am 26 weeks pregnant

Ahhh, that’s love, that’s being a mum!

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I have almost reached the final home stretch of the third trimester. The second trimester is behind me now and many have told me that I’m ‘glowing’ and how gorgeous my hair and skin look.  Would that glow be through the nausea that I’m trying to suppress so I don’t vomit on you? The only difference between the first trimester and the second trimester for me has been the reduction in fatigue and the vomit reflex in my throat and stomach that I have learnt to relax.

When not pregnant, I can assure you all that I was energetic and on the go. I was hoping that during the second trimester, this energy would return. It did, but half heartedly. That was when I wasn’t caught down with the flu. I reckon I’ve had the swine flu several times over this winter. There is just something about my pregnant body that is a target for the virus. This last round has taken much longer to get over and I thank Neways for their Ming VM and Rispiral tablets which I have been taking to boost my immune system whilst sick. I dreaded the thought of taking Tamiflu or worse.  Luckily, I didn’t have to.

With all the warnings out there for precaution amongst pregnant women to protect themselves against the swine flu, I don’t blame any like minded women out there who prefer to stay at home and avoid crowded places. After all, that has been how I’ve caught most of the flu and colds I’ve had to endure. But realistically, life has to go on and no matter how many precautions one takes, if you get the flu, then you’ll just get it.

Flu aside, I am counting down the months until I meet baby. I haven’t made any preparations and we are definitely still struggling with finding a name for the baby, but we have plenty to time left…a whole trimester!

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It’s been approximately three years since I was last pregnant. I’ve forgotten all the wonderful things that come with carrying around a big belly and the not so wonderful things. Now that I’m 22 weeks pregnant, it’s very obvious to everyone who sees me that we are expecting. Although I’m sure that there are those who may wonder if I’ve just stuck a ball under my top.

Some comments that I did not notice with my first pregnancy, but are glaringly obvious this time around are the comments on my size. By my size, I mean my weight gain and belly size. Often, people say things that they think are acceptable to pregnant women but not to the rest of the female population. Should I not be pregnant, I think people would not be so up front as to tell me how much weight I have or have not gained. They would not consider themselves as obstetrician or dieticians and give me advice as to what I should or should not be eating to gain or slow down my weight gain.

It’s never acceptable to comment on how big a pregnant woman is. Actually, it’s not acceptable to comment on how small a pregnant woman is either. If you’re feeling compelled to say something about a pregnant women’s appearance, then it should be along the lines of,

“You look great pregnant” or “You’re looking gorgeous”.

Inappropriate comments such as:

“You look so big now”

“You’re really small/big for 5 months!”

“Are you carrying twins?”

“I only gained 9 kg when I was pregnant”

will not only annoy a pregnant woman, but can really hurt her.

In my case, I’ve not gained much weight. Actually, with 5 months of  ’all day sickness’, I’ve struggled to gain any weight. I’m just happy that I have finally gained back all the weight I lost so the comments coming my way have been more along the lines of my lack of weight gain. I’m sure that as baby gets bigger and my belly is protruding out more and more, the comments would be streaming my way. How I’ll handle them will depend on my pregnancy hormones.

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This pregnancy is half behind me now and I tentatively look forward to the next 20 weeks. Week 20 is a big week for most pregnant women because it’s the week they find out the sex of the baby should they chose to.

I am someone who wants to know what I can, if I can. If I can find out about our baby’s occupation and who he or she will marry, how many kids they will have or not, I would too. Surprises are not for me. With that being said, I have no particular preferences of a boy or girl. I keep bouncing the thought of having a little boy to a little girl for obvious reasons. If we have another boy, I would selfishly be the only princess in the family and be surrounded by my handsome princes. On the other hand, a little girl would be nice only for my own shallow reasons like giving me an excuse to buy all those very cute girls outfits (that happen to take up most of the space in kids stores).

Since week 12, I’ve had a feeling that I was carrying a boy. These feelings come from various sources that you could say are ‘old wives tales’,  but I take these sources very seriously. The first was an appearance of a line on my palm that represents a male child. In my past time (and past life), I used to study palmistry until I got bombard with requests to read every Tom, Dick and Harry who found out that I can read palms. After that, I went underground and decided not to advertise or read anyone’s palms anymore (with some exceptions). I’ve never been wrong when reading people’s palms so I didn’t see how I could be wrong in reading my own palm.

The second source was from my mother-in-law who has a theory about ovulation and conception. She swears that she has a 100% success rate and with 6 kids (3 boys and 3 girls) with the sexes she chose, who am I to argue? She’s recommended this theory to others who’ve all managed to conceive with the chosen sex of their baby. Here is her theory: She says that if you have intercourse BEFORE ovulation and conceive, then you will have a boy. However, if you conceive AFTER ovulation, then you will have a girl. The week that I happen to be ovulating, it was the last week of January 2009 when we had a heat wave in Melbourne and temperatures were between 43 and 45 degrees celcius for a consecutive 4 days. After a few attempts of trying to get pregnant, we just decided it was too hot to be doing anything in bed other than trying to stay cool! By the time I was at my peak ovulation period, we just said enough was enough and there was such a thing as it being too hot for sex! Hence, conception could only have occurred before ovulation. So according to my mother-in-law’s theory, we would be having a boy.

The other source is the Chinese Birth Calendar. This calendar tells you what sex you will conceive depending on the month of conception and the mother’s birth age at the time of conception. According to the Chinese Birth Calendar, we would have a boy (conceived in January to my age of 31 at the time of conception).

With all this being said, it was time to confirm my suspicions at the week 20 ultrasound. Surprise Surprise, or should I say, No Surprise No Surprise, I saw a very obvious penis between our son’s legs.

I have no doubt of the joy in finding out the sex of your child after the delivery and it would be just as powerful as finding out now. However, for us, the chance to imagine the baby as a him for the next 20 weeks is a luxury that I wouldn’t trade for the world.

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