RemyAndSam.com

Women play many roles in their lives, they are someone’s daughter, sister, neice, aunt, wife and mum. The last has been fairly new to me, I’ve spent the least amount of time being it, only 3 years in fact. So it’s a role that I should be least good at and the excuse I should use is that I’m still new at it. But really, I’ve been on the job for three years now and it still hasn’t hit me how life changing being a mum has been. It suddenly dawned on me this week how deeply I have jumped into the mum bandwagon when I was excited with the sunny weather just so that I can do the laundry and hang it outside.  Here is how I know I am a mum:

- When I feel relieved that that my son has done a poo for the day

- When I get more excited on my son’s birthday than my own

- Toys sales gets me more excited than sales at my favourite stores like Mimco, Midas and Jigsaw.

- When I trick myself into thinking that the mash potatos or chips my son eats is a serving of vegies

- When I can’t remember the last time I read a book that had more words than pictures

- When I stop everything that I am doing and run to the window in excitement pointing to my son that there’s a rubbish truck on the road

- When going to the toilet alone gets me excited

- When I go out smelling like breastmilk, on my milk stained top and not realise it until it’s too late

- When I know the words to more nursery rhymes than the latest top 10 songs on the music charts

- When i find my fingers picking not just my nose, but that of my sons

- When saying, ‘Say Thank You’  and ‘Say Please’ is automatic

- When makeup and lipgloss in my handbag got replaced with emergency biscuits and Matchbox cars.

- When I kiss my son and give him cuddles when he’s got the flu, coughing and sneezing on me even though I am 26 weeks pregnant

Ahhh, that’s love, that’s being a mum!

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It’s been 2 years in waiting literally for our 3 year old son to attend kindergarten. He’s been on the waiting list to attend a French/Australian kindergarten since he was 1 years old.

The decision to send him this year to a 3 year old kindergarten and not next year was solely based on when he would be accepted to attend. When the time came for him to go, I started to doubt my decision.

The anticipation and anxieties I had for him attending the kindergarten felt like it was myself starting a new school. All those feelings and questions rushed through my mind as I tossed and turned through a sleepless night. Will he cry non stop? Will they know to take him to the toilet if he doesn’t ask? What if another child hits hit or snatches his toys? Who will be there to watch out for him? Questions after questions streamed through my mind that night.

When his dad finally had him all dressed and packed to go to kindergarten, I couldn’t help but shed a tear or two. This was it, the end of that stage in my life where he stayed home with me. It was sad but just the beginning of his educational life.

When I went to pick him up a couple of hours later, I was happy to see that he was fine and amongst other little 3 year olds eating their morning tea. It was a strange feeling, seeing him part of a larger group of kids for the first time, without his mother or father.

I guess the adjustment to kindergarten hasn’t been as long and hard as I had anticipated. It’s only taken him 3 sessions to know that he is in a safe environment that he can enjoy, that he is dropped off and will be picked up. But I still worry every morning when he’s at kindergarten, I wonder if it will ever stop? Or will I continue to worry when he’s at primary school, then at high school…

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Hi everyone -

Sorry it’s taken so long to put pen to paper, but things have been a little hectic in our household lately. You see, we’re building a new house, hopefully moving in three weeks, and expecting a baby in around 6 - 7 weeks.

Sitting down tonight after i put Sam to bed, I started thinking about how different things are when you’re pregnant the second time. I look back fondly on the days of my first pregnancy, taking long baths, sleeping in, reading baby books, and generally trying to prepare myself for the onslought of parenthood.

This time round, life has been consumed by too many other things - work, house decisions, raising my 2 1/2 year old son and generally trying to keep my head above water.  Even for those who arent silly enough to try and build a house when they’re pregnant, i think most would agree that it’s just not the same ‘2nd time around’.

It makes me wonder, what will life be like with a newborn for the 2nd time? What should i be doing to ‘prepare myself’?? Hmmmm…time will tell…

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I sometimes wonder what my life would have been like if we didn’t have Jeremy. When I have these thoughts, I know that I’m in trouble and need time out. A day at the spa perhaps, or maybe sometime out with a good book. For me, it’s spending more time at work. Sounds terrible doesn’t it? But really, time at work for me is time to relax in a stress free environment, chill out and have sometime out away from my son.

Jeremy with his 'I'm in trouble now' look.

I find it hard to achieve the ‘right’ balance between work and Jeremy. What is the right balance? When I work for most of the week, I feel guilty for not spending enough time with him. When I work less, spend more time with him, I sometimes feel like pulling my hair out.

I think this is part of the process of learning how to be a mother, worker and woman, being able to determine the balance to achieving self happiness through these interwining roles.

These are my rambling thoughts tonight, after a few hours spent ‘time out’ at work. I feel re-freshed coming home, and more patient with my son’s demands, even when he has done a wee in his pants after I’d reminded him to go to the toilet 5 minutes earlier…

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