I read a great blog the other day that got me thinking. We have a 3 year old boy and being almost 5 months pregnant with our second child and looking more pregnant than someone having a ‘fat day’, I’ve recently received comments and questions regarding the sex of our unborn child. For the most part, they are harmless. Water on a ducks back. However, there are a few that I have found plain rude and annoying.
“You must want a girl now because you have a boy.” - no, I just want a healthy baby.
“I want you to have a girl.” - if you want a girl, then you should try and get pregnant.
“If you have another boy, then you will have to try again to have a girl” - who says I want 3 children?
I get these sorts of comments left right and centre. From close friends, family to strangers. It really makes you think what the purpose of these comments are for. To put pressure on a mother to produce the perfect boy/girl pigeon pair? Once this perfect pair is produced, then what? Does one stop having kids because one is to have it all? And what happens when a family only has boys or girls? Are they to keep trying and trying until they have at least one of each sex?
Throughout both pregnancies, I have a fear at the back of my mind that our baby is unhealthy or has some form of disability. It is a fear that I try to push back and not think about too often. I reassure myself that everything will be ok, that tests and ultrasounds have not revealed anything significant. But that fear still lingers.
So for someone to tell me or comment on something as trivial as the sex of a baby seems so absurd that I almost want to laugh in their faces and tell them that they must be joking. If they are not, then they should go to the neo-natal intensive care units and the childrens’ hospitals to open up their eyes as to how ridiculous their comments are.
There are so many people who try for years and years to have a child and are not blessed with one, or have miscarriage after miscarriage before successfully conceiving. Ask these people if they would like a girl or a boy?
